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10km Offside: Real Madrid Inexplicably back in the Champions League after Zidane re-appointment

Zinedine Zidane - Real Madrid

Real Madrid have miraculously returned to this season’s Champions League after re-appointing Zinedine Zidane. Los Blancos have won the Champions League in all of the past three seasons, under Zizou, who left last May. But they have been knocked out of this season’s competition after losing to Ajax last week.

However, following the return of the European treble-winning manager Zidane, who replaces Santiago Solari, Real have miraculously found their way back into this season’s top European competition, despite their elimination against the Dutch side.

An official from UEFA said, ‘we had no choice but to reinstate Real back into the Champions League. Zizou is back, and he’s supposed to win the this competition every season, no matter what. We feel sorry for Ajax, but if they were the ones who got Zidane, we would have let them through. We considered giving them a bye straight to the semi-finals, but Zizou and Real politely declined’.

Zidane - Real Madrid
‘We’re back in the Champions League. You’re welcome’

The other clubs left in the Champions League have also admitted to now fighting for simply second place. An insider at Barcelona has said the Catalans will make sure they get knocked out in the quarter-finals, while Atletico Madrid’s spokesperson has announced that the club will try their best to lose to Real on their home ground in June. There are reports that Bayern Munich and Liverpool, who play each other, want to exit the competition, with the certainty that the winner in that tie will get to play Los Blancos in the next round.

Meanwhile, rumour state that Real Madrid have been blocked on Twitter by an account named ‘Portuguese Manager with Heritage’.

***This news story is not true. Seriously.

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