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Real Madrid Celebrate Winning the Champions League in 2019 (10km Offside)

Real Madrid have begun celebrations for the 2018/19 UEFA Champions League. Los Blancos clinched a third successive Champions League title, a fourth in five years, with a 3-1 win over Liverpool in Kiev, and have already declared themselves as champions next season as well.

‘We know we are the best team in the Champions League, so it’s fair we announce to the rest that we’ve already won next season’s competition’ said midfielder Casemiro. ‘We’re putting this announcement out there to give one of the others the honour of losing to us in the final. Maybe it’ll be Atletico Madrid, whose stadium is hosting the final, and can complete an honourable treble of final defeats to us’.

‘We plan to begin the season is inconsistent form…’ added captain Sergio Ramos, ‘…to make things interesting. We’ll lose to Monaco in the group stage in October, even suffer a defeat in one of our knockout second legs, to make seem it like we have vulnerabilities, while our opponents- presumably Manchester City this time- gain plaudits for working their socks and coming up with 57 shots on target’.

Manager Zinedine Zidane was asked about such claims from his players, but declined to comment, all while hiding next season’s kit with the message ‘A Por La 14’ on it.

***Note: This particularly news item is in no way real.




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